authors notes 
You can become friends with anyone no matter what that persons personalitly is. i think that it was really easy to write it allbut nothing really goes in this piece. i didnt really know where else to go with the story i knew what i was doing in the beggining but in the end i just kinda lost my train of thought. i really think i should just rewrite the whole thing.
One
 day Ender was walking down the street going to get an ice cream at his 
favorite ice cream shop. Something had stopped him and made him turn in 
to an alley that was no where near where he actually wanted to be. 
 While in the alley he saw the most amazingly beautiful women he had 
ever seen in his life.  She had long brown hair and it was in a side 
braid. There was only one problem she was being attacked!  Ender was 
never one for violence but something told him that he had to help her or
 he would regret it for the rest of his life.  As soon as he took one 
more step forward  he could plainly see that no help was needed at all. 
 The mystery girl hadsswitch he'd her and her attackers position and no 
she was in control she put him in a head lock and waited for him to be 
unconscious. While ender knewthat the man was not really dead. It had 
still bothered him to watch it. 
Life
 just wasn't the same anymore for katniss some people wanted to kill her
 while other praised her.  She was walking to get an ice cream at her 
All time favorite ice cream shop when some man had come out of no where 
and dragged her into an alley. She didn't even know this man yet 
he
 still wanted her dead. They fought for a little while and katniss 
couldn't really find it in herself to fight back this time. Then a boy 
had showed up in the alley they were in. She hadn't even known how he 
had found them it was the most hidden alley in all of town. She knew 
that if she did not fight back and she let this guy kill her that this 
boy would be scarred for the rest of his life.  The boy had taken one 
more step forward looking as if he was going to try to help her but then
 once he saw how quickly she had turned thee situation around his face 
became so full of surprise she almost smiled  at it. But if corse there 
was  no time for that she had to get her attacker away from her. killing
 was not an option becuase she knew that it would scar that boy for 
life. 
after
 she was done fighting with the guy she had found out that the boy was 
going to get ice cream at the same shop and then they went together and 
they became best friends forever.
The story has a good plot, and how it is set up. But, it is a very confusing story I dont understand it. The way it switches from one part to another makes absolutely no sense. "The mystery girl hadsswitch he'd her and her attackers position and no she was in control she put him in a head lock and waited for him to be unconscious." I didnt understand that sentence. I feel i could see the girl in my head, which was a good use of adjectives. But the story wasnt put to together very well. After the first paragraph it just switches to something random.
ReplyDeleteI liked the story but maybe it could be at little longer You could have also expanded on the love part of the story but after reading it i thought it was a pretty well rounded story and you did a pretty good job all your really need to do is expand
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